Sunday, May 9, 2010

Die Ghana pakkie storie - Deel 10

Chester het probeer om weer die besigheid verder te voer:

Dear Kevin,

Now, about something else.

I can see that you are a keen contemptible businessman, and I can trust you. I would like to know if you want to do more business of another dubious nature.

You see, the real business is in a new drug called Varkbal. I have been setting up some really good networks all over Africa, and I know you can be of good help to us.

If you are interested let me know. You are under no obligation to do this other business, I am only offering because we are good partners so far. It is only for those with a strong heart and mind, the kind of people who are really hardworking decadent businessmen. If you think you are that kind of man, then we can talk about it. But, if not, please do not mention this to anyone, it could cause many problems of a compromising nature to me and my atrocious company. This is just our secret - between you and me, all right?

So let me know how you feel about exposing yourself to an international disturbing business.

I will be out of reach over the weekend - will be back in touch on Monday.

Regards,
Chess


Daar was geen terugvoer van Kelvin af nie, toe probeer ou Chess maar weer:

Hi Kevin,

I am back after a busy weekend running all my affairs. Have you recieved my last email?

Are you interested in doing business with me?
Let me know. Time is running out.

See you later
Chess
Weereens niks. Chester moet nou alles probeer om die man se aandag te kry. Lyk my ek het nou die keer te ver gegaan - uiteindelik.


Kevin,

I haven’t heard from you, so I don’t know if you’ve gone to Yendi yet.

I have had many problems with these FedEx people, and I have decided to go and collect that package at Yendi myself. I want to fly in to Ghana on Thursday and meet you at the airport at Yendi.

We are flying in with our corporate jet. We will land at Accra airport, and will immediately get a connect flight to Yendi.

Hopefully I will be able to sort out these depraved smugglers who have our package.

Hope to you see you there. We will land there at 13:30.
Regards,
Chess


Steeds net stilte - miskien is hy al in Yendi? Wie sal ooit weet?

Dis nou hier waar ek my finale haas uit die hoed gehaal het. As Kevin nie meer vir Chester vertrou nie, bring 'n derde party in. Dis tyd om die kat in die hondehok te gooi:

Hierdie "angle" op die storie het weereens baie vernuf en verbeelding gevat van my kant af. Gelukkig het ek kontakte - so watch it.

Hier is die laaste email wat ene Kelvin Kamwe van my af ontvang het. (Of was dit nou ekke?)



From: John Edgar Heever [mailto:fbi_anticorruption_unit@elitemail.org]
Sent: Wednesday, 3 June 2009 20:21
To: Kelvin kwame
Subject: Corruption and fraud investigation




Dear Mr. “Kamwe”,
First, let me introduce myself:
My name is John Edgar Heever, I am with the FBI. We are currently investigating a case of fraud, murder, money laundering and international drug smuggling, and as a result you are now under investigation.
We have proof that you have been in contact with a certain Mr. John Paul Emeka. We also have proof that you have been involved in numerous cases of fraud, embezzlement and misrepresentation, and that you have stolen international funds.
As we have international jurisdiction, we are allowed by the Ghana government to operate on foreign soil, and we have therefore been following your every move and action for the last two months.
We know when you go to sleep, we know when, where and what you eat, we know each time you log into a computer, and we have been tracking each of your criminal transactions.
The most alarming discovery, however, is that we found that you had direct relations with Mr. Chester Williams. This person is on the most wanted list in ten countries, and we have been tracking him down for quite a while.
As you probably know, Mr Williams is an extremely dangerous man. He would not think twice about your life, and will certainly silence anyone who has had contact with him and could testify against him in a court of law. He always covers his tracks, which is why he has been so difficult to hunt down.
We have discovered that Mr. Williams was planning on sending some illegal drugs to Ghana, and he has been arranging to send a package containing these drugs to you. He was just using you - you were under the impression that he was sending you cell phones or something similar.
I would strongly recommend that you co-operate with us during this investigation. It’s your choice, you can decide: do you want Mr Williams to get to you first (and kill you), or would you rather help us to catch him before he gets to you? It’s your choice.
Let us know what you have decided. You have 24 hours. If we hear nothing from you within 24 hours, we will regard you as un-cooperative, and we will just sit and wait for Chester Williams to hunt you down. That way, we will be able to catch him, and get him charged for murder. We will have no use for you any further. We do not negotiate with terrorists, and we don’t stand in their way when they get killed by other terrorists.
If you are aware of Mr Williams’s whereabouts, I suggest that you inform us, because we have information that suggests that he is on his way to Ghana on a mission to get rid of evidence - including any humans who can testify against him.
As I said, “Kelvin”, it’s your choice. And by the way, before you try your luck - we know you are not really Kelvin Kamwe. We know you have been providing false ID documents in the name of John Paul Emeka, although you used the passport of Daniel Ghaudunkwa and illegally made a counterfeit passport.
We know much more than you could ever think.
Have a nice day
John Edgar Heever
FBI







Die skrywer se finale woord na diepe innerlike betragting:

Ek dink ou Daniel Skedonkwa het sy broek natgemaak en 'n donker streep in die straat gelos. Hy het seker sy rekenaar aan die brand gesteek, en loer heeltyd oor sy skouer. Ek hoop tog Chester kry hom eendag regtig in die hande. Ek hoor sulke "rumours" dat Chester laas in Accra gesien is met 'n AK47 en 'n byl.

Weereens beloof ek plegtig dat al die emails hier presies net so geplaas is soos wat hulle gestuur is, sonder enige redigering, behalwe vir die blou wat ek ingesit het om sekere science fiction mee te beklemtoon, en die rooi kommentare tussen-in.

Ek kan die oorspronlike chain van emails vir jou aanstuur as jy my nie glo nie, en julle is natuurlik almal vreeslik welkom om 'n emailtjie te gooi na my "Ghanaian friend", Mr Kelvin Kamwe, alias John Paul Emeka, alias Daniel Gaudunkwa by
mrkelvinkwameh@yahoo.cn

Of gee hom gerus 'n luitjie namens die FBI. Sy nommer is 0249141364 in Accra, Ghana - not Gambia, but Accra Ghana so it is Ghana not Gambia because I notice that you say Gambia but it is Ghana...

As iemand 'n spin op die storie wil gooi van FedEx se kant af - let him have it, en laat weet my wat gebeur het. Laat weet my watter ander idees julle nog mee kan opkom, maar ek dink nie Kelvin wil meer met my besigheid doen nie. Dis seker maar 'n "cultural issue".

Fluit fluit, die storie is uit. As julle van hom gehou het, en genoeg smeek, dan kan ek die 25-jarige dametjie van Nigeria ook uithelp - sy het onlangs 'n emailtjie in my junkmail folder gelos. Amper soos iemand wat 'n windjie los in die teekamer...

May the Force be with you...

1 comment:

Mollers Down Under said...

Lekker gelagvir hierdie een... :)