Die Ghana pakkie storie - Deel 6

Kelvin Kamwe is baie opgewonde oor sy splinternuwe Nokia N97 (2 each) wat binnekort afgelewer gaan word in Accra, Ghana:

Dear Chester Williams

I am happy that you have send the phone through FEDEX and we have there office here in Accra Ghana and i will like you to attach the airway bill and send to me so that i can track the phone to know when it will arrive here in Ghana

Please i am very sure that you send the phone to Accra Ghana not Gambia because Gambia is another country while Ghana is another country and i am in Ghana not Gambia i will call you on phone after sending this mail now to you

Thanks and i am waiting for the airway bill which the Fedex company give to you when you deposited the phones to them

Regards
Mr. Kelvin

Oops - skielik is Chester vreeslik besig, en kom glad nie by sy email uit vir twee dae nie. Maar moenie worry nie, Chester het intussen hard gewerk aan die vervalste waybill dokument wat hy een van die dae gaan deurstuur na Kelvin.

Maar vir eers is Chester bietjie besig met sy blow-up doll en sy Pamela Anderson videos, en hy kom nie by sy rekenaar uit nie. Dit maak vir arme ou Kelvin vreeslik bekommerd, en hy doen ‘n ernstige “follow-up”:

Please i am stil waiting for the airway bill so that i can track the phone to know when it will rich here in Ghana

Thanks and God bless
Mr. Kelvin

Rich? Maybe not mate, you’re counting your chickens long before they’ve hatched. Daar is nou sommer ‘n “God bless” ook in, net vir ingeval.

Chester bly steeds vreeslik besig met sy blow-up doll en sy concubine. Dit is mos darem naweek, after all...

Dis nou interessant. Hy sou my bel net na hy die vorige email gestuur het. Ek het gedink Oom Eugene se flerrie gaan dalk lelik wees met hom, en dan verloor ek my lekker besigheids-partner.
Maar gelukkig lyk dit my hy is steeds te suinig om die foon op te tel vir ‘n internasionale oproep. Sien, ek dink al ook soos een van hulle. Dis alles deel van die taktiek. Maak asof jy probeer bel het, en kon jou kamstig nie in die hande kry nie. Miskien moet ek ook daai ene probeer, bietjie later. Maar vir eers het ek ‘n ander strategie vir die dom asdromkop.

Vir eers moes hy 'n bietjie wag. Ek stuur dan later vir hom sy waybill, en dan sal ons uitvind wat "fout gegaan het" met die courier-besigheid.

Ironies dat hy werk vir Global Couriers, wat ‘n pakkie na my toe moet stuur, maar ek kry vir Fedex om ‘n pakkie na hulle toe te stuur, want hulle is so vreeslik vinnig - nes DHL, wat hy aanbeveel het! As hy regtig vir die Couriers gewerk het, sou hulle mos self gereël het om die pakkie af te kom haal?

Eish. die Chester is mos maar bietjie dom, hy dink nie oor die obvious nie.

Dear Kevin,

Sorry, I was very busy this weekend, and I had not had a chance to look at my email yet. I was at the local children's hospital today, showing them some of the videos I bought recently. Have you ever heard of Hugh Hefner? He makes very good movies. I see that you have been looking to find me on the email. Did you call? I did not recieve any calls from Gambia that I know of. My secretary also did not have any messages for me.

By this time you have probably already recieved the phones? Are they working in your country?

Remember to first charge the batteries for 16 hours, otherwise they don't last long. They say that the N97 batteries are made of silicon anusprod carbidium, and are the newest on the market. But don't use them if you haven't charged them for the first 16 hours. After that you can charge and discharge and use them for any of the purpose. That is very important. Otherwise the battery will lose it's unproven ability to keep going for long periods.

So, let me know if you've recieved the phones? I am waiting to hear from you soon.

God bless you and your family

Regards,
Chess

Weereens gooi ek bietjie science fiction tussen-in. Die batterye het sommer anusprod ook as 'n bestanddeel. En die "unproven ability" sal vir seker nie sy aandag trek nie.

Kelvin se volgende email was bietjie meer onbeskof, lyk my die stress loop hoog.

Dear Chester Williams

I need the airway bill which the FEDEX company give to you when you send the phone and i also need your Mobil phone number so that i will call you

Hope you give the FEDEX company this phone number 0249141364 Which they will call when the phone arrive in Ghana here

Thanks and i am waiting to receive the airway bill
Regards
Mr. Kelvin

Ek was nou al lank voorbereid vir die ding. Ek gaan die pakkie laat “wegraak”. Dis nou waar die hele “Gambia” ding inkom. Ek het ‘n pragtige Fedex waybill voorberei - spesiaal vir my vriend.
Die waybill is met MS Paint so bietjie verdof en verduister sodat net sekere dinge sigbaar is.

Ek het dit natuurlik ook in bitmap formaat gelos, sodat die file groter is. (Net so 1.33 MB) Hoe langer hy vat om dit af te laai, hoe beter. Die kans is goed dat hy op ‘n gewone landlyn sit, en ek gaan sy mailbox lekker stadig maak.

Op die waybill staan daar sy volledige adres, met die woord GAMBIA baie groot geskryf op die ding. Ek gaan die ding vir hom stuur, en kyk hoe vinnig hy dit optel. Ek is seker hy gaan dit byna onmiddellik raaksien, hy is mos baie oplettend. Hy het my nog elke keer mooi reggehelp as ek praat van Gambia.

...Ghana not Gambia because Gambia is another country while Ghana is another country and i am in Ghana not Gambia ...

...Another thing please remember that I am not in Gambia I am in Accra Ghana not Gambia because I see where you write Gambia so mind you is Accra Ghana...

Die eerste “waybill” file wat ek na hom toe gestuur het, was egter ‘n “corrupted” file. Eintlik wou ek gesoek het vir ‘n virus, maar netnou neuk ek myself ook op, en ek het in elk geval nie tyd om virusse te gaan soek op die web nie. (Ek het nie so baie tyd soos wat julle almal dink nie...)

Ek spoor toe ‘n MP3 episode van Jakkals en Wolf op, waar Oom Dana Niehaus vir ons vertel van hoe Jakkals en Wolf die heuning gesteel het. Perfek - 4 Meg groot, en met ‘n lewens-les ingesluit.
Hier gaan ons:

Kevin,

My friend, I am so sorry, have you not received the package yet? I would have thought that it would be in Ghana by now?
Anyway, attached is the waybill. I scanned it in. They should be delivering it any moment now, I would think.

May you have wonderful, holy Sunday.
I am on my way to church now. Hope to hear from you later.

Chess

Chester is nou baie heilig.

Hy hoor egter niks van sy vriend in Ghana nie - dalk het sy vriend gedink hy het nie meer vir Chester nodig nie?

Op hierdie stadium van die geveg het ek vermoed dat my vriend snuf in die neus gekry het.

Chester stuur toe maar die ene:

Kevin,

Did you get the package? I am waiting to hear from you. Has it arrived yet?

The waybill is attached, just in case you didn't get my previous mail.

Regards,
Chess

Ek attach natuurlik weer die helse 4Meg file, net vir ingeval.

Kevin reageer toe baie benoud:

Dear Chester Williams

I have not receive ths package and Fedex company has not call the phone number i give to you to give them so that immediately the package arrive they will call so i am still waiting to receive there call as soon as the package arrive here in Ghana

Please i need your direct Mobil phone number so that i will call you and let you know as soon as the package arrive and they call me

Regards
Mr. Kevin

Nou wonder ek wat het hy dan nou gemaak met die telefoonnommer van die AWB wat ek al drie keer vir hom gegee het? Het hy gebel? Hy noem niks daarvan nie. No worries, ek kry 'n "direct mobile" nommer wat hy kan bel. Ene wat hom baie geld gaan kos.

Lusty line ladies - vir daai sickos wat aanmekaar toevallig op my site uitkom omdat jy soek vir kaal meisies, bel die nommer asseblief:

072 075 6701

Dear Kevin,

There must be something wrong with this delivery, it should be there by now. Please check this attached file and see if the address and everything is correct.

Here is my direct mobile number:
+27 72 075 6701

Regards,
Chester

Die file wat ek attach, het so gelyk:

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