Ek wou al lankal een van hierdie scams uitprobeer. Hierdie goed wat so in jou inbox inkom uit die bloute, en dan beloof die mense vir jou een massiewe ereksie, of jy het die Kanadese jackpot gewen. Of jou lankverwante oumagrootjie se bediende het 'n suster gehad in Ghana, en jy erf 50 miljoen dollas.
My eerste karakter was ‘n japsnees van een of ander aard. Ek vermoed hy was dalk eintlik maar net ‘n “Afrikaan”, maar ek het probeer saamspeel. Sy email was as volg:
Dear Friend, [ek het baie vriende in goeie ou Afrika]
Thank you for your prompt response to my mail. I must assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free to you before and after it is been completed.
All I require from you is your maximum co-operation to enable this transaction sail through,the total amount is in united state dollar. I contacted you purely based on the fact that your last name tallies with that of my late client, [en hier het hy actually vergeet om die "late client" se naam in te vul net agter die komma!]
Concerning the legal aspects of this inheritance claim,you have nothing to worry about.With all my years of experience as a legal practitioner,I can authoritatively and confidently assure you that all aspects of this transaction are totally safe before and after the transaction is completed and has no hazards whatsoever.
I was the legal representative/adviser of the deceased, and according to law,this entails that I am mandated to take care of all legal aspects of his business even though he is no longer alive. Based on facts available to me,my deceased client,had no next of kin to inherit the money he left behind.The bank is asking for the next of kin of my late client for claims otherwise the money will be confiscated .
But due to the fact that i am the only one who is aware that my client had no next of kin, I decided to carry out a research to find someone with similar last name as my late client,this is actually my reason for contacting you. [Dis gaaf, sê net asb wie die "client" was?]
This transaction is expected to be completed in the next 10 banking working days with your full cooperation .Therefore a high level of seriousness and trust is required from you to enable us proceed on this transaction.
It is pertinent to equally let you know that all legal angles has been carefully examined before I contacted you,so that both parties can be legally protected.
You must not entertain any fear [bwahahaha], as this transaction is going to be legally documented in your name at the Malaysia high court. All the formal documentation of this fund in your name will be done with the court here in Malaysia where this fund is lodged.
Upon your favorable response, I will send to you,my international id card other related documents backing this transaction. High degree of trust is required from you to enable us sail through this transaction ,this will be completed in the next few banking days with your co-operation and carefully following my advice and instructions.
I am prepared to offer you 40% of the total funds for your assistance input to claim and keeping this money safe in your Country 60% will be for me.
However, if you are ready to do this business with me,I advice you to call me any time of the day my phone is a call forwarded line, you can call on:011-60-142-672-398 or60-142-672-398 for proper briefing on this transaction.
Ek skryf toe terug, met die volgende:
Thank you for sharing this deal with me.
Please send me the ID and other proofs before I continue. You know, we can never be too careful these days. Just the other day someone tried to fool me into giving away me credit card details. I cannot fall for that again, that person stole more than $15000 from me that time, and I still cannot find him. [Dis die aas aan die vislyn die]
I did not know that I had family in Malaysia. My uncle had some relatives who moved to Usbekistan long ago, maybe they ended up there. What was the name of my beloved namesake? Maybe i can find out what side of the family he was from.
Be quick to respond, I am very anxious about this transaction.
Ek het myself Filemon Hadsome Kamagabe genoem, en sommer ‘n regtige egtige legitimate Gmail adres ook gehad vir Filemon.
My nuwe vriend Chong antwoord toe as volg:
I must assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free to you before and after it is been completed .All I require from you is your maximum co-operation to enable this transaction sail through,the total amount is in united state dollar.
You must be able to keep this transaction very confidential till the total fund is transfer to your account and any body who have access to the attach documents that might be forwarded to you in nearest future will automatically have access to the fund. [Oops- dan moet ek dit seker nie op die blog sit nie ne?]
To guarantee this payment or transaction to you i have decided to attach my personal i.d card ,upon receive of the below information i will forward to you my late client death certificate. [Ons weet nog steeds nie wie die "late client" was nie]
Once i receive all the below information's from you via email attachment,l will send you a detail email on the next stage of this transaction.
1.A copy of your driver's license or international passport.
2.Your contact phone number/fax
3.Your contact address.
Level 1 Federal Government Administrative Centre
62612 WP Putrajaya,
Hy was vriendelik genoeg om ook sy ID te stuur. Nou vertrou ek hom ten volle. So lyk die ID:
Ek het toe vir hom ‘n fake ID van Filemon gestuur, wat so lyk:
Ek het hard gegoogle, en ‘n “regte adres” opgebou. Die telefoon nommers was van ‘n plek met die naam Lusty ladies in Johannesburg, en die fax nommer was die AWB in Ventersdorp se nommer.
Please, my eyes are not good, and i have been trying to look at these documents but somethigns they are confusing me. Your name is Chong Wong, which is very short name, but the signatiure on your card seems to be very long one and is starting with S and H and ending with ff. But, it is hard to read clearly. Maybe you could send better ressolution picture of the ID. [Ek dink ek het bietjie te veel waarheid beklemtoon hierso]
Just to be on the careful side, I must be protecting my inheritance here. If you could please send me your barrister qualification, the one that is proof of your being a lawyer, I would be pleased. Just to make sure, I am being very cautioous, as I am not wanting to be dealing with someone who is not truly an attorney. If you are attorney, I know I can trust, because you are worthy of being man of the law.
I am sending you my ID card for your perusal and approval.
My telephone number is +27 (72) 075 6701,
and my cell phone number +27(82) 897 1018
Fax number +27 (86)559 6205
Address for posting:
AWB HK Equality Commission
PO Box 274
Ek het nie weer van Chong gehoor nie. Dalk het hy die nommer gebel, en te laat besef hy betaal $30 per minuut om met die vriendelike tannie te praat? - Wie sal weet?
In elk geval, daar was so paar sulke kandidate wat nerens heen gelei het, behalwe vir ‘n paar swak emails en ‘n fake ID hier en daar nie. Ek het vinnig besef ek kan baie beter “fakes” maak as hierdie ouens, maar dis dalk nie so goeie idee om die goed in hulle hande te sit nie. Netnou word almal verpes deur Filemon Hadsome Kamagabe wat so mooi ID het...
Ek het toe bietjie weer teruggesit en planne gemaak. Iewers moet ek een van die blikskottels ‘n slag vang. Die eerste ding wat ek moet doen, is om nie ‘n “indigenous African” naam te gebruik soos Filemon Hadsome nie - die perd gaan dink ek is ook ‘n Nigerian, of hy gaan dink ek het nie regtig geld nie. Ek soek ‘n mooi engelse naam wat klink asof ek baie geld het en almal vertrou.
Dis hoe Chester Williams gebore is. Met die AWB HK se telefoon nommer as huisnommer, en hulle posadres vir briewe. Ek kan my net indink as een of ander perd met ‘n Nigeriese aksent vir Oom Eugene bel en vra vir die geld wat Chester Williams vir hom skuld. Dink jou dit in. (Jammer, ou Chess, dis net alles deel van die joke - niks persoonlik nie.)
Chester se nuwe vriend is Kelvin Kwame. Of liewer dalk Emeka John Paul? Wie sal ooit weet?
In die volgende deel van hierdie storie sal ek julle bekendstel aan Kelvin - 'n ware Afrika karakter.