The Big Aussie BBQ

Yesterday it was time to greet the queen in a real West Australian way – we had a massive barbeque on the Perth foreshore.

There were 120 barbeques, 120,000 sausages (unfortunately no boerewors), 8000 liters of tamato juice, 130,000 drinks and more than 100,000 people who came to greet the queen.

Public transport was free and we took the train into the city early Saturday morning.

Because we were there early we got into the main stage area, and we got close to the action.  This whole area was later locked off and the rest of the common folk had to go somewhere else to look at the queen on the big screens.

This created it’s own problems of course, because my youngest little darling wanted to go to the toilet, and I had to go through what seemed like 7 heavily guarded gates to get out, and had to get stamped to ensure that I’m allowed back in again.  The same applied if you wanted to buy sausages or drinks.  Security was tight and there was no mercy for anyone without the red stamp.

But it was great fun.  I’ve never had the opportunity to see the  queen in real life before, and I was surprised at how human-like her Duck was.  (I don’t know why this duck is always accompanying her, it must be some mascot or something.)

The crowd was extremely well-behaved, and the WA Police tweeted later:

“about 100,000 ppl/no arrests/1 move-on notice/3 elderly ppl collapsed (fine now)/3 kids reunited with carers #CHOGM”

It was an alcohol-free event after all, as the Premier correctly assumed that good decent Western Australians won’t start drinking at 9am on a Saturday morning…well, not the 200,00 that came to the foreshore anyway.

The national anthem was sung with pride and once again one couldn’t help but notice how much these people love their country and how proud they are to be Western Australians.  And that includes me.

We were close to the action, and when we asked my youngest what the queen looked like, her response was “she looks very old!”

Apparently Her Majesty also had a look at my daughter’s CHOGM photo earlier this week, and she was very impressed with this beautiful young girl from Africa.  She may even have smiled when she looked at it in admiration: 

On the way back we got off at Sterling station to run in to IKEA for a cheap lunch and drank free refill cold drinks till we burst. 

So, in one week we met the Premier of WA in person, and saw the queen and her Duck from Edinburgh.  What a week it was, indeed!

I need a holiday.

Die Koningin, die premier en die jets

Hier in die Wille Weste is mos nou groot dinge aan die broei. Al die groot kokkenosters van die Commonwealth lande kom vergader hier in Perth. Dis nou al maande lank wat beplan word vir die fancy koek-en-tee besigheid met die Queen en al die ander groot terroriste wat hier gaan tea-parties hou. Al Gaddafi se pelle kom ook – ou Zuma, Pohamba – net ou Bob (van Zim) is nie genooi nie, want hy het te veel geraas met ou Tony Blaar en die Queen se mense.

Hier is nou groot makietie hier Doer Onner. Ons fancy rooikop proim ministah het die queen gegroet sonder om haar se kniege te buig, want sy is mos darem ‘n moderne feminis wat nie tyd het vir fancy maniere nie.

Dis mos een van daai rare dinge hier in Australia – die Proim ministah ry met ‘n wit Holden – dis seker die enigste Commonwealth-land wie se groot kokkedoor nie in ‘n duur duitse voertuig rond-gekarwy word nie – die Holden is mos kamstig ‘n eg Australiese simbool. Hulle besef net nie dat die Holden eintlik ‘n simpel Opel is met ‘n ander badge op nie, en Opel is so Duits soos Hitler en sauerkraut.

Anyway.

Hier is hordes goeters gereël vir die affêre. Ons het selfs Saterdag ewe ‘n Big Barbeque with the Queen herself – en natuurlik gaan hierdie biltongboer nie die grootste moerse barbeque in wêreld-geskiedenis kan mis nie! Miskien kry ons nog ‘n ou kiekie van my en die ou antie – hou maar die nuus dop. Ek sal my mooi khaki safaripak aantrek net vir in geval. Met vellies, natuurlik.

Hier vlieg vreeslike goed rond – F18 hornets nogal. Hulle loer en kyk of die Sjinese of die Arabiere ons nie dalk wil binneval nie. Elke nou en dan vlieg hier ‘n hele spul Hornets hier reg oor ons koppe. Elke keer hol ek buitentoe om te gaan kyk, maar dis bewolk en die flippen pilots vlieg daar bo iewerste. Ek het twee van hulle nou die dag gesien daar in Leederville – man dis ‘n mooi ou stukkie vliegtuig daai. Wens net hulle wil my ‘n draai gee op die goed man.

Anyway, met al die duisende programme en planne was een van die planne om fotos te neem van verteenwoordigers van al die commonwealth lande wat nou in WA woon. Hulle kon mense kry van 50 van hierdie lande – almal woonagtig hier in die Wille Weste. Raai raai wie word toe die fancy family from Namibia? Dis net hy daai – julle eie ou biltongboer homselwers.

Hulle het ons een Vrydag middag daar in Kings Park afgeneem soos wafferse onderbroek-modelle. Na hulle elkeen van ons uit elke hoek en draai afgeneem het, het hulle besluit om my oudste dogter se foto te gebruik. Sy staan nou ewe en pronk daar in die Hay street Mall, en die oorspronklike kunswerk-foto staan in die staats-teater.

Ek en my twee meisiekinders het toe nou die aand gaan kyk toe hulle die teater se opening doen – en toe gesels ek bietjie met ons eie ou Premier van Wes Australia. Hy is ‘n vreeslike vrinnelike ou omie, en ek het gesê hy kan kom biltong proe by my huis as hy ‘n tydjie kry. Ek het net vergeet van my safaripak, maar ek dink ek was darem nie te onsmaakvol geklee vir ‘n suidwes biltongboer nie, of hoe?

As ek geweet het hy gaan daar wees, kon ek dalk vir hom ‘n ou biltongtjie saamgevat het – dit sou seker beter afgegaan het as die fancy vinger-etes wat hulle by die plek gehad het. Ons moes maar doen met die smoked salmon en allerhande fancy mushrooms met kaas en WA se beste wyne.

Ek wonder of die ou queen my biltong sal eet daar by die groot barbeque?